Kin VS Antis
Oct. 30th, 2019 05:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raptordyneWarning: There are various things mentioned once or twice in no detail, such as pedophilia and rape. Skip the first paragraph if you can't even look at the words.
This is a personal account/experience journal. Take everything with a grain of salt and a lot of research, folks.
You know what was very frustrating on tumblr? Being demonized for being kin with the "wrong" character (anti-labled abusers, rapists, child murderers, "problematiques," etc.-- though normal murderers were fine). Or, perhaps even worse; being a double. God forbid you share a kin with someone.
A Discord group for IZkin started up at some point, claiming they accepted doubles. One person was kin with the same character as myself, and the entire group said they couldn't let me in, because that person had been there since the start. That person had thrown such a tantrum, and they were their friend, so they couldn't just follow their own guidelines and let me in-- nope! When I mentioned that's favoritism and it goes against their own set rules their response was "No??? It's literally not??? They were here first get over it???????"
My friend even went "Ew, what the fuck?" and didn't join. We made our own group. Only one person joined and they were kind of a basket case, so oof, none of that thank you. The IZ community is garbage anyways, add kin to the mix and you've really juststirred fucked the pot.
I approached that person one-on-one. I asked what was wrong, and if we could talk it out.
Oh BOY did I make a mistake. This person went balistic. They claimed that no one else was allowed to identify them because it caused severe panic attacks, only THEY were kin with that character and he was more obscure so no one else COULD BE (that sure is how statistics work /s), and that I was harassing them by even addressing the problem to see if we could overcome it.
Before someone hacked my tumblr and deleted everything (40+ blogs, functional website) I had the whole conversation on my kin. I hadn't gone back to delete anything, because I figured-- hey, this makes for a really good example.
I checked back a few years later. Let me repeat that-- YEARS. No less than three years later. Guess what was in their DNI? "Block me/don't follow me if you know [username 3 years ago] and follow them or are friends with them." Three years. That was there three years later. I hadn't even seen/heard of them since-- I just walked away from it, knowing it wasn't worth my time. Why would it be? That three years later, they were only seventeen, so it was just some brat on the internet, right?
Of course, that wasn't all. Their blog also FORBID PEOPLE FROM INTERACTING WITH THEIR CANONMATE. They claimed they were from "their" canon and thus, no other of that kintype was allowed to talk to them. Beyond that, no one they didn't approve of was allowed to talk to them. Let that sink in, folks.
By now you're probably wondering-- "What does that have to do with antis?" Well, let me tell you, sweet summer child: EVERYTHING.
This is peak anti behavior; forcing people only to speak within their circle, discouraging anything that may be different/may challenge their views, flipping out in such a way as a three year old might for a tantrum, claiming severe mental consequences for even existing, and creating callouts/harassment campaigns (although in this case it was immortalized onto their byf page).
Kin-- especially fictionkin-- overlap with antis. The Venn diagram isn't just overlapping circles, it's two circles mashed extremely close together, so the middle section is the largest. They seem to be equally unstable, and equally susceptible to the same echochamber we saw on tumblr (and now on Twitter). But why? The simple answer is pretty brutal, but I think the tl;dr one is more... vivisection, at least to an anti that happens to read this (however unlikely it may be).
Here's the simple answer: they have horrible mental health, no access to groups outside their guardian's (LGBT+, anime club, etc.) and thusly are following ONLY their guardian's views of the world. They haven't been able to make their own yet, and are still at the stage where it's rejected.
The long answer? These kids have not matured emotionally enough to be able to view things as anything but a personal attack. Social media/the image of the self outwardly portrayed to others therefore must be perfect. No pwoblematic content, harass the people everyone else is harassing, find the little things to cling to that make you "popular" or otherwise "give you credit" in a community, and of course, no critical thinking. Admitting you're wrong (as well as blocking) is therefore "losing" because, oops! If YOU block someone, then clearly YOU are the weak link, or worse-- you're WRONG.
In high school, I saw a lot of this performative shit. I saw girls (and guys!) pretend they liked all the things the popular kids liked, only to secretly play video games or watch MLP. If anyone found out their reputation would be shattered. I understand this-- I hid being gay (after coming out as thinking I may be bi at 14) from everyone. I even remember an experience where I told two douchebags to stop making fun of queer folk, only to be asked if I was gay. I hate lying, but I said no anyways. I said no because I was terrified of what might happen if I was any further outside the norm than I already was (autistic, liked gamer stuff, liked cartoons, open about enjoying anime, etc.).
I know that fear. I lived that fear my entire school life, from kindergarten to my senior year. I hated it, I hated myself, I hated everyone around me, I thought everyone was out to get me-- only to step out of the building on graduation day and realize... Oh. None of that mattered. There's millions of people out there just like me!
These kids haven't had that experience yet; as for the adults? The twenty-something antis that act as ringleaders? Well... that's what they are. Ringleaders. They are making sure these kids stay in that mindset in order to rehash TERF, KERF, and radfem rhetoric. They want kids to be on their side, because kids are the future. If enough people are anti-porn, they can further criminalize sex workers. If enough people hate "cringey gross fetish having tr*nnys" then they can push us back into the dark and reverse our progress. If we think highly of them-- the "morally superior women that are Totally Not Fandom Moms(tm)"-- then it boosts their ego, elevates their platform, and lets them reach wider and more impressionable audiences.
Don't believe me? Take a look through an anti's posts/profile information. Almost all of them are anti "gross gay people" because it's "bad representation" (no, honey, realistic gay characters and niche fetish shit is not bad rep, the joke in Ace Venture about the trans women was) or "makes them dangerous." Because having an "18+ ONLY MINOTS DNF" in their profile clearly means they're a pedophilic predator.
Kin (other, fiction, whatever) are in that same spot. Like these antis, their first interaction with their fandom/their community was this morality wank. People spouting off how x ship is bad, x character is an abuser, you're not allowed to have fun, etc. They saw this and went "Oh shit, guess I better be a Good Child for the toxic internet randos because my Reputation is on the line and I might get The Bullying." Except, oops! A lot like LGBT+ antis, the only interaction with kin and spiritual communities... was on tumblr. I cannot tell you how toxic that community was, but 90% of them were like the story above. Mentally unstable people seeking control of their life, some sort of high ground, willing to push others down to get there. Except now, they could claim they were that character-- and here we enter the "You're literally fetishizing me/my trauma."
And thus, between a lack of access to relevant groups (especially IRL) outside of the little echochamber hellscape that was tumblr, kin and antis both spiraled into the most concentrated version of "cringe culture" I have personally ever seen. With kin, however, the target was much... easier? Larger? Kin subscribing to this insane mindset shot themselves in the foot. They made us a laughingstock, when we were already on thin ice. Now we have to say "I believe in reincarnation" and pray no one asks further, for fear we'll trigger that "easy target" mentality within people. So thanks for that I guess, ya bunch of brats.
Not to mention all the parody/troll blogs that came out of it... that I could never tell if it was a troll or not, thanks to how crazy these people actually acted. I'd hazard to guess most of these people had severe, diagnosed mental disorders/disabilities (HPD is one I thought I saw quite often, as well as BPD, C-PTSD, autism, depression, GAD, and the like) that their guardians just pretended didn't exist/that the older kin either didn't know there was a problem or were anti-recovery (oh yeah, that's a thing).
What did we learn from this? These subcultures overlap and I Am Tired.
This is a personal account/experience journal. Take everything with a grain of salt and a lot of research, folks.
You know what was very frustrating on tumblr? Being demonized for being kin with the "wrong" character (anti-labled abusers, rapists, child murderers, "problematiques," etc.-- though normal murderers were fine). Or, perhaps even worse; being a double. God forbid you share a kin with someone.
A Discord group for IZkin started up at some point, claiming they accepted doubles. One person was kin with the same character as myself, and the entire group said they couldn't let me in, because that person had been there since the start. That person had thrown such a tantrum, and they were their friend, so they couldn't just follow their own guidelines and let me in-- nope! When I mentioned that's favoritism and it goes against their own set rules their response was "No??? It's literally not??? They were here first get over it???????"
My friend even went "Ew, what the fuck?" and didn't join. We made our own group. Only one person joined and they were kind of a basket case, so oof, none of that thank you. The IZ community is garbage anyways, add kin to the mix and you've really just
I approached that person one-on-one. I asked what was wrong, and if we could talk it out.
Oh BOY did I make a mistake. This person went balistic. They claimed that no one else was allowed to identify them because it caused severe panic attacks, only THEY were kin with that character and he was more obscure so no one else COULD BE (that sure is how statistics work /s), and that I was harassing them by even addressing the problem to see if we could overcome it.
Before someone hacked my tumblr and deleted everything (40+ blogs, functional website) I had the whole conversation on my kin. I hadn't gone back to delete anything, because I figured-- hey, this makes for a really good example.
I checked back a few years later. Let me repeat that-- YEARS. No less than three years later. Guess what was in their DNI? "Block me/don't follow me if you know [username 3 years ago] and follow them or are friends with them." Three years. That was there three years later. I hadn't even seen/heard of them since-- I just walked away from it, knowing it wasn't worth my time. Why would it be? That three years later, they were only seventeen, so it was just some brat on the internet, right?
Of course, that wasn't all. Their blog also FORBID PEOPLE FROM INTERACTING WITH THEIR CANONMATE. They claimed they were from "their" canon and thus, no other of that kintype was allowed to talk to them. Beyond that, no one they didn't approve of was allowed to talk to them. Let that sink in, folks.
By now you're probably wondering-- "What does that have to do with antis?" Well, let me tell you, sweet summer child: EVERYTHING.
This is peak anti behavior; forcing people only to speak within their circle, discouraging anything that may be different/may challenge their views, flipping out in such a way as a three year old might for a tantrum, claiming severe mental consequences for even existing, and creating callouts/harassment campaigns (although in this case it was immortalized onto their byf page).
Kin-- especially fictionkin-- overlap with antis. The Venn diagram isn't just overlapping circles, it's two circles mashed extremely close together, so the middle section is the largest. They seem to be equally unstable, and equally susceptible to the same echochamber we saw on tumblr (and now on Twitter). But why? The simple answer is pretty brutal, but I think the tl;dr one is more... vivisection, at least to an anti that happens to read this (however unlikely it may be).
Here's the simple answer: they have horrible mental health, no access to groups outside their guardian's (LGBT+, anime club, etc.) and thusly are following ONLY their guardian's views of the world. They haven't been able to make their own yet, and are still at the stage where it's rejected.
The long answer? These kids have not matured emotionally enough to be able to view things as anything but a personal attack. Social media/the image of the self outwardly portrayed to others therefore must be perfect. No pwoblematic content, harass the people everyone else is harassing, find the little things to cling to that make you "popular" or otherwise "give you credit" in a community, and of course, no critical thinking. Admitting you're wrong (as well as blocking) is therefore "losing" because, oops! If YOU block someone, then clearly YOU are the weak link, or worse-- you're WRONG.
In high school, I saw a lot of this performative shit. I saw girls (and guys!) pretend they liked all the things the popular kids liked, only to secretly play video games or watch MLP. If anyone found out their reputation would be shattered. I understand this-- I hid being gay (after coming out as thinking I may be bi at 14) from everyone. I even remember an experience where I told two douchebags to stop making fun of queer folk, only to be asked if I was gay. I hate lying, but I said no anyways. I said no because I was terrified of what might happen if I was any further outside the norm than I already was (autistic, liked gamer stuff, liked cartoons, open about enjoying anime, etc.).
I know that fear. I lived that fear my entire school life, from kindergarten to my senior year. I hated it, I hated myself, I hated everyone around me, I thought everyone was out to get me-- only to step out of the building on graduation day and realize... Oh. None of that mattered. There's millions of people out there just like me!
These kids haven't had that experience yet; as for the adults? The twenty-something antis that act as ringleaders? Well... that's what they are. Ringleaders. They are making sure these kids stay in that mindset in order to rehash TERF, KERF, and radfem rhetoric. They want kids to be on their side, because kids are the future. If enough people are anti-porn, they can further criminalize sex workers. If enough people hate "cringey gross fetish having tr*nnys" then they can push us back into the dark and reverse our progress. If we think highly of them-- the "morally superior women that are Totally Not Fandom Moms(tm)"-- then it boosts their ego, elevates their platform, and lets them reach wider and more impressionable audiences.
Don't believe me? Take a look through an anti's posts/profile information. Almost all of them are anti "gross gay people" because it's "bad representation" (no, honey, realistic gay characters and niche fetish shit is not bad rep, the joke in Ace Venture about the trans women was) or "makes them dangerous." Because having an "18+ ONLY MINOTS DNF" in their profile clearly means they're a pedophilic predator.
Kin (other, fiction, whatever) are in that same spot. Like these antis, their first interaction with their fandom/their community was this morality wank. People spouting off how x ship is bad, x character is an abuser, you're not allowed to have fun, etc. They saw this and went "Oh shit, guess I better be a Good Child for the toxic internet randos because my Reputation is on the line and I might get The Bullying." Except, oops! A lot like LGBT+ antis, the only interaction with kin and spiritual communities... was on tumblr. I cannot tell you how toxic that community was, but 90% of them were like the story above. Mentally unstable people seeking control of their life, some sort of high ground, willing to push others down to get there. Except now, they could claim they were that character-- and here we enter the "You're literally fetishizing me/my trauma."
And thus, between a lack of access to relevant groups (especially IRL) outside of the little echochamber hellscape that was tumblr, kin and antis both spiraled into the most concentrated version of "cringe culture" I have personally ever seen. With kin, however, the target was much... easier? Larger? Kin subscribing to this insane mindset shot themselves in the foot. They made us a laughingstock, when we were already on thin ice. Now we have to say "I believe in reincarnation" and pray no one asks further, for fear we'll trigger that "easy target" mentality within people. So thanks for that I guess, ya bunch of brats.
Not to mention all the parody/troll blogs that came out of it... that I could never tell if it was a troll or not, thanks to how crazy these people actually acted. I'd hazard to guess most of these people had severe, diagnosed mental disorders/disabilities (HPD is one I thought I saw quite often, as well as BPD, C-PTSD, autism, depression, GAD, and the like) that their guardians just pretended didn't exist/that the older kin either didn't know there was a problem or were anti-recovery (oh yeah, that's a thing).
What did we learn from this? These subcultures overlap and I Am Tired.
I've observed this too.
Date: 2019-11-01 12:09 am (UTC)I think the otherkin community was easier to target and take a hold of because otherkin are not taken as seriously and due to that it's easier to distort the community's ideals that way. In a way, I'd suspect it's also easier for them to distance themselves from any personal issues if they externalize their issues into a kintype and prevent people from doing things involving it.
I suspect a lot of them are also following a pack mentality, where they just got into the community and have the chance to "be themselves" and they make friends with people with questionable ideas or who want to use them, and they're radicalized one way or another due to this. They don't know what's normal but they trust that others around them do (or at least can push them in the right direction), and it just escalates from there.
Re: I've observed this too.
Date: 2019-11-01 05:00 am (UTC)I also agree with your second point-- I wish I could do more to discuss old otherkin and more grounded communities, but I've never been able to be a part of one.
Very plausible, and admittedly, I wouldn't be surprised if the offshoot of otherkin, fictionkin, started out as a joke to mock them. Fortunately or unfortunately, it actually did resonate with some people (particularly those who used their favorite game, anime, etc. to cope throughout life, but in other situations as well). I also see a high rate of autism mentioned in both communities, though I have no idea if it actually plays a part (I myself am autistic, and all of my various-kin-type friends and many people I've crossed paths with seem to be, too).
Pack mentality, how ironic. I feel like this falls right back into the high school thing; it's better to pretend to go along with the bullies than actually stand up to them, because they're afraid of being cast out/made fun of. Which, as mentioned, is a horrible way to live.
Hell, as far as kin goes (and I'm sure you can tell), at this point I don't even know what's normal. I could blame tumblr again, but it's also in part of having no "in" to the actual community.
Re: I've observed this too.
Date: 2019-11-01 06:38 pm (UTC)There are a few older forum communities still going, although they tend to be few and far between these days and subject to their own problems (occasional dismissal of fictionkin, low activity, geared towards a particular subgroup, etc.) Honestly, the further away they are from the larger and more mainstream otherkin and fictionkin communities on tumblr I notice the more tolerable they become.
My first exposure to what I would consider a grounded community was the Werelist? It's not really made for otherkin with past life memories or things of that sort, but if you're animalistic or bestial in any manner it's a breath of fresh air, though they tend towards a more aspiritual framework due to this. Generally if the community allows healthy debate, questioning, and growth they're normal and grounded.
Re: I've observed this too.
Date: 2019-11-02 05:52 am (UTC)The aversion to fictionkin is the one I've noticed most, but even those-- almost all of them-- have little to no traffic. Nothing is going on. Hell, the groups on here for it just post meetups once in a while. It's almost like all the kin went and hid, which I wouldn't doubt with the net's current mindset about them.
Werelist? Interesting. Animalistic or bestial-- so more the feeling towards being feral, rather than actually being kin, yes? That's pretty cool either way.
Re: I've observed this too.
Date: 2019-11-02 06:06 pm (UTC)Yeah, Werelist was more for those who experienced otherkinity (and specifically therianthropy) from an animalistic POV, so less about what it was like to be sapient or civilized, and more about the nitty gritty, sometimes unpretty experience of being animals and animalkin.
Re: I've observed this too.
Date: 2019-11-03 05:48 am (UTC)I like that a ton, honestly. Some of us did have that side, it's nice to acknowledge it sometimes.
Re: I've observed this too.
Date: 2019-11-04 01:20 am (UTC)Re: I've observed this too.
Date: 2019-11-04 09:17 pm (UTC)I truly hope it does.
Re: I've observed this too.
Date: 2020-08-26 10:35 pm (UTC)